墨菲定律大全编辑本段回目录
简介
倒霉的事情必然发生，这就是墨菲定律。这是一个墨菲定律大全。
墨菲定律起源Murphy Law Origin 墨菲定律的历史和真实故事。
墨菲定律Murphy's Laws 如果问题可以出现，它一定会出现。
墨菲定律爱情定律Love Laws 好人都被别人选走了。
技术定律Tech Laws 新系统会产生新问题。
计算机定律Computer Laws 任何程序，在它运行的时候，都已经过时。
商业定律Commerce Laws 是人都会犯错误，是公司制度都不会原谅错误。
租房定律Real Estate Laws 每个月租户都至少会有一张支票“被寄丢”。
教学定律Teaching Laws 考试过后你才真正明白。
战争定律War Laws 友好的交火-不友好。
警察定律Cops Laws 防弹背心不防弹。
军警定律MP Laws 小聪明永远通不过检查。
缝纫定律Sewing Laws 剪子总是在剪扣眼的时候最快。
墨菲志愿者丛林防火队定律Murphy Volunteer Bush-fire Brigade Laws 能起作用的笨办法不是笨办法。
照片定律Photography Laws 自动对焦不自动。
护士定律Nurses Laws 只有病人身体不好的时候医生才会问你的名字。
公交定律Bus Law 如果你晚点了，公交车也会。
彩票定律Lotto Laws 你中了四个数字，但是彩票丢了。
牛仔战斗射击定律Cowboy Action Shooting (CAS) Laws 瞄准器瞄不准。
汽车定律Cars Laws 汽车总会漏油。
幼儿定律Toddler Laws 什么时候你忘带手推车了，孩子们就会要玩手推车。
紧急处理定律EMT Laws 最终，所有的流血都会止住。
图片设计定律Graphic Design Laws 你最好的创意已经被别人申请专利了。
妈妈定律Mothers Laws 妈妈的办法总是最好的，不信你问问她。
童子军定律Scouts Laws 游戏越简单越没人想玩。
政治定律Political Laws 不管谁当选了，政府都会插一腿。
高尔夫定律Golf Laws 每当你想按照次数把球打进洞，你都会发抖。
员工定律Employees Laws 给你承诺的工作越多，你的工作越少。
办公室定律Office Laws 当你清闲时，你所有同事都会忙。
音乐定律Music Laws 在排练或音乐会上，总会有一个手机铃声响起。
马匹定律Horse Laws 你讨厌的马匹不会被卖掉，而且它比你活得长。
武术定律Martial Arts Laws 你不是李小龙。
杂项墨菲定律Miscellaneous Laws 租金定律，打印定律
生活中的墨菲定律Life by Murphy 你的生活就是一个很好地墨菲定律？
发给我们Send Us 如果你发现了我没有发现的定律，请发送给我，我将发表在这里，并感谢你！
欢迎留言、提建议、或支持我们。 （译者：pestwave）
Murphy's laws site
Murphy Law Origin The history and true story of Murphy law
Murphy's Laws If anything can go wrong, it will
Love Laws All the good ones are taken
墨菲定律Tech Laws New systems generate new problems
Computer Laws Any given program, when running, is obsolete
Commerce Laws To err is human, to forgive is not company policy
Real Estate Laws At least one check will be "lost in the mail" every month
Teaching Laws You never catch on until after the test
War Laws Friendly fire - isn't
Cops Laws Bullet Proof' vests aren't
MP Laws No street-wise unit ever passed inspection
Sewing Laws The scissors cut easiest past the buttonhole
Murphy Volunteer Bush-fire Brigade Laws If it's stupid but it works, it ain't stupid
Photography Laws Auto Focus - won't
Nurses Laws Doctors only ask your name when the patient isn't doing well
Bus Law If you're running late the bus will be too
Lotto Laws You match 4 numbers, but you lost your ticket
Cowboy Action Shooting (CAS) Laws Peep sights don't.
Cars Laws An oil leak will develop.
Toddler Laws When you forget the stroller they will want to ride.
EMT Laws All bleeding stops... eventually.
Graphic Design Laws Your best idea is already copyrighted.
Mothers Laws Mother's way is best. If you don't believe it, ask her.
Scouts Laws The easier the rules of the game the fewer will want to play.
Political Laws No matter who gets elected, Government always gets in.
Golf Laws Whenever you think you might par you boogie.
Employees Laws The more work you are promised, the harder it is to find.
Office Laws When you don't have much work... all your colleagues will be busy.
Music Laws At least one mobile phone will ring during a rehearsal or concert.
Horse Laws Horses you hate cannot be sold and will outlive you.
Martial Arts Laws You are not Bruce Lee.
Miscellaneous Laws Rental laws, Printing Laws
Life by Murphy Is your life a good example of Murphy laws?
Send Us your laws that I didn't find, I'll post them and give you credit for it!
I would love to hear your comment, suggestions, or applause, please visit the contact page.
墨菲定律大全--之技术定律编辑本段回目录
译者：frank01 @ yeeyan.com
简介
技术定律的一些玄玄怪话. 欢迎大家来评,来批,来砸.
漫画Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
所谓逻辑,是一种自信地导向错误结论的系统方法.
理解: 逻辑悖论很常见,而作为逻辑支柱的因果律也似乎被量子理论推翻了.也许逻辑真是一门游移在哲学和科学间的玄学?
Whenever a system becomes completely defined, some damn fool discovers something which either abolishes the system or expands it beyond recognition.
无论何时,当一个系统被完全定义,总有些可恶的傻瓜会发现些什么,或者废弃这个系统或者把它扩张到无从认知的领域.
Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
科学技术由那些对自己管理些什么毫不理解的人掌控.
理解:讽刺官僚?
If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.
如果建筑者象程序员写程序那样造房子,那么史上出现的第一只啄木鸟也许就会毁了文明.
理解: 谁能理解?
The opulence of the front office decor varies inversely with the fundamental solvency of the firm..
前台的装修豪华程度随着企业基本偿付能力逆向变化.
理解: 前台一般指的是企业面向市场,销售和公关的形象窗口, 这句话似乎可以用来形容倒闭前的银行或者某些贫穷地区地方政府的豪华办公楼.
The attention span of a computer is only as long as it electrical cord.
一台电脑的专注持续时间只和它的电路长度一样.
An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
所谓专家就是对于越来越少的事物知道得越来越多的人, 这个过程直到他对于虚无的事物全然了解为止.
Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure. great discoveries are made by mistake.
告诉某个家伙宇宙里有3000亿颗恒星,他会立马相信.而告诉他凳子上油漆没干他要亲手摸了才信. 伟大的发现都从错误里来.
理解:有句话叫什么来着, 从司空见惯的事物里发现奇处才是聪明人.
漫画Always draw your curves, then plot your reading.
先画出曲线,再琢磨怎么解读.
理解: 这也是信口雌黄的股票分析师的伎俩吧.
Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.
从没什么项目真是按进度或在预算内完成的.
理解:这一定是某位项目经理的牢骚.
All's well that ends.
如果哪里都没出问题,那就一定有大问题了.
理解:这话我信.
A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.
所谓会议,就是某个事件, 时间花掉了, 会议纪要留下了.
The first myth of management is that it exists.
管理的第一个秘奥就是真有管理这档子事.
A failure will not appear till a unit has passed final inspection.
直到某个对象个体通过检验,才会出现故障.
理解:实践出错误.
New systems generate new problems.
新系统产生新问题.
To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.
人非圣贤孰能无过,但要真把事情搞砸还得计算机出马.
理解: 这位一定是推卸责任的程序员了.
We don't know one millionth of one percent about anything.
我们对任何事物一无所知.
理解:这位太消极了.
Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.
任何充分先进的技术都与魔幻难辨.
A computer makes as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years make.
一台电脑2秒内可以闯的祸赶得上20个人20年干的坏事.
墨菲定律理解: 没办法,效率太高.
Nothing motivates a man more than to see his boss putting in an honest day's work.
再没什么能比看到自己的老板诚实苦干一天更能激励某位职员的了.
Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know who wrote the book or even what book.
有些人被本本管理着,虽然他们不知道谁写的那些本本甚至它是什么样子?
理解: 我们都被红头文件管着, 即便其中有些确实很烂.
The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
工业设计工程师的首要作用就是给制造者添麻烦,让维护者干瞪眼.
To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.
怎么找出专家, 对了,就是那个预言某项工作将耗时最长花费最多的家伙.
After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.
等所有事情都说完了做好了,还有一大堆说比做多的烂事.
Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
任何电路设计都得包括至少一个废用部分,两个用不上的部分以及三个仍未完成的部分.
A complex system that works is invariably found to have evolved from a simple system that works.
人们发现任何一个敷用的复杂系统总是由一个敷用的简单系统进化而来.
理解: 自下而上的层级分布式控制理论.
Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
电脑不可靠,但人类更不可靠.任何依赖人类的系统都不可靠.
理解:这要看可靠性是谁的诉求了.
.Give all orders verbally. Never write anything down that might go into a "Pearl Harbor File."
永远口头下令.不要留下任何可能会变成”珍珠港档案”的书面材料.
理解: 珍珠港档案是指那些为可预期的坏结果而保留的豁免自己责任的文件.
Under the most rigorously controlled conditions of pressure, temperature, volume, humidity, and other variables the organism will do as it damn well pleases.
在最严格控制的压力,温度,体积,湿度和其他变量条件下 ,有机体会如其所愿地运作.
If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
如果你不能理解某件事物,那它就是直觉显见的.
理解: 公理只能直觉不能推导.
In designing any type of construction, no overall dimension can be totaled correctly after 4:30 p.m. on Friday. The correct total will become self-evident at 8:15 a.m. on Monday.
设计任何建筑时,其总尺寸从不会在周五下班前正确累加得出.正确数字会在周一上班前自己蹦出来.
The only perfect science is hind-sight.
唯一完美的科学是事后聪明.
Work smarder and not harder and be careful of yor speling.
做事情懒点投鸡取巧点,还得注意不要拼错瓷.
墨菲定律If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
计算机里面没有的就真没有.
If an experiment works, something has gone wrong.
如果某个实验有效,那就一定在哪里出纰漏了.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
实在没别的辄了,再去读说明书.
If there is a possibility of several things going wrong the one that will cause the most damage will be the one to go wrong.
如果几件事里可能有一件要捅篓子了, 那就一定是那件危害最大的事.
Everything that goes up must come down.
所有一切,上去还得下来.
理解:能量守恒.
Corollary: Not always
推论: 并非总灵验.
Any instrument when dropped will roll into the least accessible corner.
摔到地上的实验仪器总会滚到最难找到的角落里去.
理解:这是位倒霉的实验室小弟.
Any simple theory will be worded in the most complicated way.
任何简单理论都会被以最复杂的方式措辞.
Build a system that even a fool can use and only a fool will want to use it.
架设一个系统,连傻瓜也会用,而且只有傻瓜想用来着.
The degree of technical competence is inversely proportional to the level of management.
某人技术能力和他的管理水平成负相关.
A difficult task will be halted near completion by one tiny, previously insignificant detail.
一项艰巨任务在接近完成时会被某个细小的,先前看似无关紧要的细节所中断.
理解: 混沌效应总在关键处显现.
There is never time to do it right, but always time to do it over.
从没时间做对事情,却总有时间重做一遍.
The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.
限期临近,剩下未完成的工作却在增加.
If something breaks, and it stops you from doing something, it will be fixed when you:
1.no longer need it
2.are in the middle of something else
3.don't want it to be fixed, because you really don't want to do what you were supposed to do
如果某样东西坏了,而且中断了你在做的某件事情.那么它会在以下时候被修好:
1. 当你不再需要它时
我的天哪2. 当你又投入干另一件事情时
3. 当你因为不想被指望一定要怎么怎么而不愿修好它时
Each profession talks to itself in it's own language, apparently there is no Rosetta Stone
每种专业都用自己的语言说事儿,显然你即便拿着罗赛塔石碑语言学习软件也不管用.
The more urgent the need for a decision to be made, less apparent become the identity of the decision maker
作某个决断的需要越是紧迫的时候,决策者的个人身份越发变得隐晦.
理解: 这句话很深,也许是急变从权,威势没有时间累积的缘故吧?
It is never wise to let a piece of electronic equipment know that you are in a hurry.
不管任何时候,让一片电子设备知道你有多么赶时间都是不明智的.
理解:不可使知之.
If you are not thoroughly confused, you have not been thoroughly informed.
如果你还没有彻底糊涂,那是因为你还没被彻底告知.
理解: 是啊,空明嘛.
A screw will never fit a nut.
螺钉螺帽永远不会合适.
When working on a motor vehicle engine, any tool dropped will land directly under the center of the engine.
修发动机时掉下的任何工具总会径直掉进发动机最深处.
Never trust modern technology. Trust it only when it is old technology.
永远别信新科技,等它变旧科技了后再信它.
The bolt that is in the most awkward place will always be the one with the tightest thread.
最么二角落的那枚螺栓总是拧得最牢的.
The most ominous phrase in science: "_Uh_-oh . . ."
科学里最不吉利的话就是”啊—喔…”
理解: 是指在演讲或论文答辩时听见的吧?
When any technological change is made, we have a graphic insult curve. No mater how high the insult curve climb, the important thing is how long it goes.
任何技术变革出来,我们都经历一条图形化的受辱曲线.不管曲线能爬多高,重要的是它会持续多久.
理解: 新技术总会使大众再作一回傻瓜,也许是这个屈辱吧?
for any given software, the moment you read software reviews and manage to master it, a new version of that software appears. The new version always manages to change the one feature you need most.
任何到手的软件,当你还在读说明琢磨怎么驾驭它的时候,它的新版本就出来了.而且新版本总设法改变你最需要的那项特性.
In today's fast-moving tech environment, it is a requirement that we forget more than we learn.
面对今日飞速变化的技术环境,我们只能少学多忘.
理解: 举双手赞成!
It is simple to make something complex, and complex to make it simple.
把东西搞复杂很简单,把东西搞简单很复杂.
理解: 复杂只要重复堆积,简单需要精炼归纳.
Measurements will be quoted in the least practical unit; velocity, for example, will be measured in 'furlongs-per-fortnight'.
度量总是被以最不实用的单位引用,比方说,每两周1/8英里什么的.
In electronics repair the part with the highest failure rate will always be located in the least accessible area of the equipment.
电子设备故障率最高的部分总是位于维修最不易到达的区域.
理解:是啊,家里的小家电电脑板总是最快坏掉的,而且坏掉就没法修的.
The rule of Protection:
If you install a 50¢ fuse to protect a 100$ component, the 100$ component will blow to protect the 50¢ fuse.
保护规则: 如果你安装了价值5毛钱的保险丝来保护值100元的设备元件,值100元的元件就会自行烧断而保护值5毛钱的保险丝.
Karl Imhoff was a German engineer who developed sewage treatment systems in the early 1900's. His biggest contribution was the Imhoff Tank, which allows sewage to settle. The Imhoff Law relates to bosses everywhere. The law goes as follows:
真要命！The largest chunks always rise to the top.
Karl Imhoff是为1900年代的城市污水处理工程师.他最大的贡献是Imhoff水箱,可用于下水道安装. Imhoff定律如下: 最大块的垃圾总是浮到最上面来.
On a cruise ship, the one, most important part you don't have in stock always breaks on a Friday evening, just when you left harbor and the next time you will be in harbor is a Sunday or Christmas eve.
邮轮上最重要的而且你没有存货的部件往往在周五傍晚坏掉, 而这又往往发生在船刚离港时.
理解:一位邮轮上的电器技师的感言.
The chance a copy machine will brake down is proportional to the importance of the material that needs to be copied and inversely proportional to the amount of time till the material will be needed.
复印机故障罢工的几率和待印文件的重要性成正比,和待印文件需要交付所剩的时间成反比.
理解: 读到现在最象科学定律的一条.
Murphy's Law on HVAC systems:
An HVAC (Heating Ventilating and Air Conditioning) engineering firm, will invariably lease office space in a building with a lousy HVAC system.
热通风和空调系统的墨菲规律: 一家热通风和空调系统工程公司, 将总是用一套一塌糊涂的该系统占用大楼的办公空间.
The probability any machine breaks down increases with the importance of expected visit.
随着来访者重要性增加的是机器故障的概率.
if it works in theory, it won't work in practice.
理论上可行的实际就不可行.
if it works in practice it won't work in theory.
实际可行的理论上不会可行.
Research Law:
No matter how clever and complete your research is, there is always someone who knows more.
研究定律:不管你的研究项目多聪明多完善,总有人懂得更多.
The proposed size of any project is inversely proportional to the size the project will eventually become.
Corollary: Any project that can consume more resources before reaching it's final state will do so.
This will happen faster than you think.
Also, the investors will not be happy.
任何企划的规模和最终付诸实施后的项目规模成反比.推论: 任何最终完工前能消耗更多资源的项目将会消耗更多资源.这会比你想象的出现得更快.而且,投资方不会高兴.
The less intelligent the idea, and the person stating it, the more likely it will be funded.
越不聪明的主意,和越不怎么样的出主意者,就越有可能得到资金.
A man with one watch is certain about time. A man with two watches isn't.
只有一块手表的人很确信时间,戴两块表的人就搞不清时间了.
If you think you understand science (or computers or women), you're clearly not an expert
如果你觉得自己理解了科学(或是电脑或女人),很明显你不是行家.
Technicians are the only ones that don't trust technology
技术人员是唯一不信任技术的人.
All impossible failures, will happen at the test site.
Corollary: All impossible failures will happen on the clients desktop
所有不可能出现的错误都会在测试现场出现,推论: 所有不可能出现的错误都会在客户眼前出现.
The more you want to contact someone over an instant messenger is inversely proportional to the chances that they will be on-line.
即时通讯时你越想联系的人往往越不会正好在线.
All things mechanical/electrical will catastrophically fail after the guarantee has expired, unless an extended guarantee has been purchased.
所有的机械/电子玩意儿都会在质保期过了以后悲惨地坏掉,除非你已经事先购买了续保.
理解: 家里的家电一过保修期就坏掉,实在佩服死了那些搞使用寿命控制的工程师了.
First Law of Linear Equations:
Given any system n linear equations, there will be n+1 unknowns
线性方程第一定律: 给定任一系统和线性方程组, 就会导出n+1个未知解
In theory there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice there is.
理论上理论和实际没有差别,但实际中两者有差别.
译者: 本文翻译中删除了一些重复的和较为crap的条目.
墨菲法则编辑本段回目录
早在本世纪40年代末，有一位在美国空军服务的上尉工程师，名叫爱德华□墨菲（Edward A. Murphy），专门研究人体在飞行器迅速加速和减速时的忍耐力。搞这种研究要请真人来做试验，浑身上下绑上16个敏感探测元件。
结果有一次一位实验助手把把16个敏感元件的触头全部接反，实验结果当然是满拧。事已至此，墨菲上尉不由得叹口气说：“If anything can go wrong, it will.”翻译成中文就是：“如果有可能出错（的事情），那一定会出错”。说白了，跟咱们中国人的俗话“哪壶不开，偏提哪壶”意思有相近之处。没承想，墨菲的科学研究没使他出大名，但他这句话却被冠以“墨菲法则”（Murphy's Law），不径而走，连韦伯斯特大词典都在1958年收入这个词。
墨菲定律有人就把墨菲当时的原话（“如果有可能出错，那一定会出错”）称为墨菲基本原理，并在此基础上推出若干其他“定律”：比如墨菲第一定律说：“事情总是看着容易，做起来难”；而墨菲第二定律则说：“做什么事情花的时间都比你预想的要长”；还有一条定律说：“如果做事情一切顺利，那你一定是忽略了什么要紧的东西”。
墨菲法则摘录
If anything can go wrong, it will。
如果事情还能更糟的话，它会的。
In nature, nothing is ever right. Therefore, if everything is going right ... something is wrong。
在现实生活中，没有什么事情是永远正确的。所以，如果每件事都在朝好的方向发展……一定出问题了。
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious。
愚蠢是不可避免的，因为愚蠢太富有创造力了。
Nothing is as easy as it looks
没什么事情像看上去一样简单。
Everything takes longer than you think
每件事总比你估计的要多花点时间
Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first
每当你准备做什么的时候，总有些别的事你得先做了。
Every solution breeds new problems
每个解决办法都会衍生出新的问题。
The legibility of a copy is inversely proportional to its importance
文件的可读性和它的重要性是成反比的。
The chance of the buttered side of the bread falling face down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet
面包往下掉的时候，抹了白脱一面冲下的概率和地毯的价值成正比。
You will always find something in the last place you look
东西总是在你最后去找的地方被发现。
Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse
听之任之的话，事情一般不会向好的方向发展。
After you bought a replacement for something you've lost and searched for everywhere, you'll find the original
在你丢了东西到处找不到并买了新的后，你就会找回原来丢了的那样。
The other line always moves faster
墨菲定律漫画
你旁边的车道总是比你这条走得快些。
When a broken appliance is demonstrated for the repairman, it will work perfectly
每次演示给修理工看电器如何不正常运作时，它都干得挺好。
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will use it
建立一个连傻瓜都会用的系统的话，一般只有傻瓜才会去用。
Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work
每个人都有套没法运作的致富计划。
In any hierarchy, each individual rises to his own level of incompetence, and then remains there
在任何等级制度中，每个独立个体都会迁升到力所不能及的职务，然后就呆在那儿了。
The better you know the amount of ill luck that will strike you,
the worse you know when this will happen
你越清楚厄运的危害，你越不知道它什么时候降临。
Your best golf shots always occur when playing alone
你最好的分数一定是你一个人玩的时候得到的。
He who angers you controls you, there-fore you have no control over your anger
都是那些让你愤怒的人控制你，所以你没法控制你的愤怒。
No matter how hard you try, you cannot push a string
不管你怎么努力，你不能推一根绳子。
Murphy's Law Current Revision
Any thing that can go wrong, HAS Already Gone Wrong!
You just haven't been notified
墨菲法则现代版：
如果事情还能更糟的话，它已经有那么糟了，只是你没发觉罢了。
all good things come to those who wait...
but , don't wait too long or they will pass you by...
like 2 ships that pass in the night...
never again to return that same exact site
好事情总是为等待它们的人来临，但是，不要等太久，它们会擦肩而过，就像两艘夜航的船，再也回不到本可以相逢的那个刹那。
No degree of acceptance can ever change the facts
没有任何限度的接受可以改变现实。
Beauty is only skin deep, fashion even shallower
如果美貌是肤浅的话，时髦连汗毛都没沾上。
A person without values or standards can never be a hypocrite
一个没有价值观和做人标准的人是不可能成为伪君子的。
Don't let go of something until you have a hold of something else
不管是西瓜还是芝麻，没捡到前别把手里的扔了。
It takes forever to learn the rules and once you've learned them they change again
规则不容易掌握，一旦掌握了，规则又变了。
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds,
the pessimist fears this is true
乐观主义者声称相比前生和来世，我们生活的世界是最好的，悲观主义者就怕这是真的。
You will find an easy way to do it, after you've finished doing it
你总能找出一个更便捷的方法，在你已经做完这件事以后。
The wind will always blow opposite to your hairdo
风永远不顺着你的发型吹。
Window polishing: It's always on the other side
擦窗法则：不干净的老是在另一面。
Anyone who isn't paranoid simply isn't paying attention
没有得妄想症的人普遍注意力不集中。
Whenever you cut your finger nails, you find a need for them an hour later
每次剪了指甲后没多久，就有用得着它们的地方。
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself
对一个不需要自己来做的人来说，没有什么是不可能的。
Probabilities serve only and exclusively to determine the degree of improbability of the catastrophes that actually take place
概率，也只有概率，是用来解释为什么不大可能发生的灾难发生了。
Two wrongs don't make a right. It usually takes three or four
错错不会得对。一般要错上个三四次才行。
If the truth is in your favor no one will believe you
如果真相对你有利，没人会信你。
The difference between Stupidity and Genius is that Genius has its limits
天才和愚蠢的区别是天才有它的局限性。
Those who don't take decisions never make mistakes
不做决定的人是不会犯错的。
Murphy's Metalaw
Knowing Murphy's Law will never help
墨菲星际法则：知道墨菲法则不会带来任何帮助。
Everything that could possibly go wrong for anyone else always seems to happen to you
那些谁碰上都倒霉的事儿老是在你身上应验。
The person ahead of you in the queue, will have the most complex transaction possible
排在你前面的人总是有最复杂的手续要办。
墨菲法则产生于美国。事情发生在1949年，一位名叫墨菲的空军上尉工程师，认为他的一位同事是个倒霉蛋，不经意地说了一句话；“如果一件事情有可能被弄糟，让他去做就一定会弄糟”。这句笑话在美国迅速流传，并扩散到世界各地，最后演变成有趣的墨菲法则：假定你把一片干面包掉在地毯上，这片面包的两面均可能着地。但假定你把一片一面涂有一层果酱的面包掉在地毯上，常常是带有果酱的一面落在地毯上(麻烦)。换一种说法：如果某件事有可能变坏的话，这种可能就会成为现实。墨菲法则的适用范围非常广泛，它揭示了一种独特的社会及自然现象。
总 则
一、别试图教牛唱歌，这样不但不会有结果，还会惹牛不高兴
二、别跟傻瓜吵架，不然
旁人会搞不清楚，到底谁是傻瓜
三、不要以为自已很重要，因为没有你，太阳明天还是一样从东方升上来
开宗明义
墨菲定律：凡事只要有可能出错，那就一定会出错。
墨菲哲学：笑一笑，明天未必比今天好。
墨菲准则：东西越好，越不中用。
开始
好的开始，未必就有好结果。
坏的开始，结果往往会更糟。
借钱
你若帮助了一个急需用钱的朋友，他一定会记得你——在他下次急需用钱的时候。
智愚之间
有能力的——让他做。
没能力的——教他做。
做不来的——管理他。
爱 情
你爱上的人，总以为你爱上他是因为，他使你想起你的老情人。
你最后硬着头皮寄出的情书，寄达对方的时间有多长，你反悔的时间就有多长。
早到与晚到
你早到了，会议却取消。
你准时到，却还要等。
迟到，就是迟了。
东 西
东西久久都派不上用场，就可以丢掉。
东西一丢掉，往往就必须要用它。
你丢掉东西时，最先去找的地方，往往也是可能找到的最后一个地方。
你往往会找到不是你正想找的东西。
精彩
你出去买爆米花的时候，银幕上偏偏就出现了精彩镜头。
排 队
另一排总是动的比较快。
你换到另一排，你原来站的那一排，就开始动的比较快了。
你站的越久，越有可能是站错了排。
失事报导
失事的地点越远，伤亡的人数就得越多，否则写不成一则故事。
携伴出游
你携伴出游，越不想让人看见，越会遇见熟人。
相对论
一分钟有多长？
这要看你是蹲在厕所里面，还是等在厕所外面。
品质保证
一种产品保证60天不会故障，等于保证第61天一定就会坏掉。
墨菲法则告诉我们：你若想提前知道哪些交易有可能遭受损失，这类交易就包括：
a．那些你不曾建立保护性的止损委托的交易;
b．由于不谨慎而持有过多的头寸，超过了你应该持有的头寸。
为了避免这些所谓墨菲法则交易的负面影响，我们应当坚持：
a．无论何时都要为所持有的头寸建立保护性的止损委托。
b．为每一帐户积累的合同数额定一个上限，而且无论在何种情形下都不要超过这个数。
墨菲法则在许多情况下都很有趣，但一旦与实际的商品交易联系起来，就不再那么有趣了。
这个法则忠告每一个投资人在做投资决定的时候, 切不可抱有侥幸心理, 一定要有最坏的准备。
非自然定律编辑本段回目录
简介
墨菲法则告诉我们：当我们做错任何事情的时候，总会找到借口的。
你曾经在你刚要抬脚迈出门去的时候听到电话铃响吗？当你苦等公交车不来，正准备点一支香烟的时候，它却从一辆停着的卡车后面冒出来了？有些机敏的人会注意到这些事情并非偶然，而是有某种规律的。一些人如Murphy、Peter和Parkinson，决心找出这些规律——那些控制人类坏运气的定律，他们已经将之视为毕生的工作了。下面就是这些定律的一些例子。
Murphy定律
性的墨菲定律
如果某件事情可能会出错，那它一定会的。
如果某件事情可能不会出错，那它一定会出错的。
如果某件事情可能不会自己出错，那一定会有人使它出错的。
O'Tool对Murphy定律的评论
Murphy是一个乐观主义者。
工程师的Murphy定律
对一项设计的变动越显得无妨大碍，就会越有重要影响。
任何可能产生的不显眼的错误，就一定会产生。
受反应快速的保险丝保护的线路往往自己先熔断结果保护了保险丝。
电工们的Murphy定律
任何用于加长的电线最终会变得更短。
难以言表的定律
只要你一提到某件事情，那么 ......
......如果它是好事，就不会发生
......如果它是坏事，就会发生。
期望的不互易定律
负期望会产生负结果。正期望会产生负结果。
Howe定律
每个人都有无效的计划。
Zymurgy系统演化动力学第一定律
一旦你打开一罐子的虫子，那么把它们重新装回罐子里的唯一办法就是用一个更大点的罐子。
Etorre的观察
另外一条路看起来会走得更快。
DeVrie难题
如果你同时按了打字机的两个键，那么你按的往往是不想打在纸上的那个键。
Skinner常数（Flanagan欺骗因子）
这个数乘以、除以、加上或是减去你已经得到的答案，给出仍然是你应当得到过的答案。
重力选择性的Murphy定律
电脑的墨菲定律物体选择能够产生最大破坏力的下落。
Hofstadter定律
任何事情都比你想象中的要长。
Hofstadter定律的推论
任何事情都比你想象中的要长，甚至当你在想Hofstadter定律的时候。
Jenning对重力选择性的Murphy定律的推论
面包下落涂有黄油的一面着地的几率正比于地毯的价钱。
Gordon第一定律
如果一项研究计划完全不值得去做，那么它也就不值得好好去做。
Maier定律
如果事实不符合理论，那它们就必须被去掉。
Hoare大问题定理
任何大问题的里面都有小问题在作怪。
Boren第一定律
犹疑不定之际，nnd。
艺术与科学的黄金规则
持黄金者制定规则。
Barth的分类法
人有两种：把人分成两种的和不把人分成两种的。
Segal定律
有一个手表的人知道时间。有两个手表的人则不确定。
项目方案的99定律
任务的第一个90%花去了90%的时间，剩下的10%花去另外90%的时间。
Farber第四定律
必要是未知之母。
Cole定律
剁碎的卷心菜。
基于Dave Willens在1996年2月一封的非原创的电子邮件。2002年12月08日（casimodo）
