分手2.0时代编辑本段回目录
Leslie有天查看了她Facebook的状态却发现自己不知何时回到了单身。她的前男友认识了新的女人，更糟的是，她发现她被甩的消息通过各种新闻源发布，就如头条新闻一样无处不在。
When he changed his Facebook profile, he also changed hers as well -- they were no longer announced as a couple. Their friends received the news before she had.
当他更改了他Facebook的状态，他也更改了她的，于是他们不再是情人。他们的朋友在她告诉他们这个消息之前便都已知晓。
There are now many more ways to break up -- both in public and in private -- and many of them are virtual.
现在有太多的方式去结束一段关系，无论是公开还是私人的，且其中的多数方法都会产生效力。
Leslie was one of 72 people that Ilana Gershon, an assistant professor in the Department of Communication and Culture at Indiana University Bloomington, interviewed at length for her new book, The Breakup 2.0: Disconnecting Over New Media (Cornell University Press).
布鲁明顿印第安纳大学沟通与文化系的助理教授Ilana Gershon在她撰写新书《分手2.0时代：新型媒体下的分离》的最后阶段对72个人进行了采访，Leslie也是其中之一。
"I was interested in the ways in which people were using new media to break up with each other and also the ways in which new media -- which is designed to create connections -- creates all sorts of problems when you're using it to disconnect," Gershon said.
“我对人们如何利用新工具分手有浓厚的兴趣，同时想了解这些工具是如何制造出各种问题的。要知道，他们出现的初衷是为了建立新关系。”Gershon说。
"Almost everyone still thinks that people should break up face-to-face," Gershon said. "The only people I interviewed who thought that face-to-face was less than ideal would imagine that they were the ones doing the breaking up, not that they were being dumped.
“现在几乎每个人都依旧认为分手应该是面对面的，”Gershon说，“唯独有一位被我采访的人认为面对面的分手不是最佳方式，他感觉那不是在谈分手，而是一方抛弃另一方。”
"But the thing that surprised me is that breaking up by talking on the phone is now much more acceptable than it was 15 or 20 years ago," she added. "Because you have all these different options for ending relationships -- texting, instant messaging, Facebook, e-mail, Twitter -- having an actual spoken conversation, even if it isn't face-to-face, is now widely seen as acceptable."
“但有件事让我很惊讶，相对15至20年之前，人们更能接受通过电话来分手的方式，”她补充说，“你现在有太多选择可以用来结束一段关系——短信，聊天，Facebook，电邮，Twitter，尽管这些都不是面对面的，但实际上的确是你们之间的对话，这些方式现在也被普遍接受了。”
Of the people she interviewed, 67 were people who communicate frequently with new technologies, undergraduate college students. "I'm surrounded by a group of people that are breaking up fast and furiously and they were the ones ready to talk to me," she quipped.
在她采访的人中，其中67个人非常频繁地使用新技术进行沟通，他们都是在读大学生。“我被一群能闪电分手的人包围着，而他们竟然将同我对话，”她讽刺道。
But the stories Gershon heard were much more sophisticated than simply "he texted me" or "she sent me an e-mail." People she spoke to did a lot of "media switching" and made use of many forms of new media in order to look for reasons behind the breakup and even continue to follow former lovers' lives online. She said there are various things that can be learned from each form of communication.
但Gershon听到的故事远比“他发短信跟我分手”或“她发我电邮跟我分手”复杂得多。受访者会经常切换方式，并利用这些新工具来找到分手背后的原因，甚至在线追踪前恋人的生活。她说通过每种沟通方式都能了解到很多有用的信息。
For example, a 30-something man she interviewed learned that his wife wanted a divorce through a two-sentence e-mail while he was away on a business trip. In the meantime, she had emptied their joint bank accounts and he had no place to stay upon his return. Afterwards, she kept e-mailing his work account rather than having direct conversation. She ignored all of his notes he sent to her personal e-mail account.
比如，受访者中有一位30岁左右的男人在他出差时得知了他妻子想以仅仅两句话的电邮同他离婚。与此同时，她清空了他们的银行共同账户，使得他回来时无处可住。尔后，她将电邮发到他的工作信箱而没有进行面对面的对话，而且她对他发送到她私人信箱的所有内容视而不见。
"He began to pay a lot of attention to the e-mail account the messages were coming from," Gershon recalled. "He began to try and figure out what was going on. He learned that she had been experimenting with trying to have different personalities online. She had practiced being a different person on her Facebook profile," she added. "He also figured out through the technology, in part, that this other person (with whom she was having an affair) was at her workplace."
“他开始注意那些来件的地址，”Gershon回忆说，“他开始尝试去了解到底发生了什么，得知了她在线发展出了一段其他的关系。她练习着在Facebook上成为一个与她截然不同的人，”Gershon补充说，“通过科技他也了解到，那个与她妻子有染的人就在她妻子的公司。”
The boundaries were clear: He was no longer allowed to contact her personal account or interact with her during her personal time.
界线十分清楚：他不能再通过她的私人邮箱联系她或在她的私人时间同她有任何的互动。
"People really are using all the ways in which these technologies give them access to different kinds of information about what's going on, to try and figure out what's going on," Gershon said. "What I find really interesting about the break-up stories is that they were really detective stories."
“人们在寻求到底发生什么的过程中的确使用了新技术所提供的许多方法”，Gershon说，“在这些分手故事中最让我感到有趣的是，他们更像是侦探剧。”
Some people told Gershon they figured out who their former lovers were seeing by checking their Netflix queues and matching them against the movies that their suspected new lover listed as their favorites on Facebook. She also found a great deal of "Facebook stalking" and Google searching -- by people on both sides of the failed relationship -- to discern how "their exes were feeling about what happened and the aftermath."
有些人告诉Gershon，他们通过追踪恋人在Netflix的信息来捕捉他所看的电影，并同其怀疑有染者在Facebook信息上所写的想看电影进行比较。她还发现许多已经分手的人通过Facebook和Google来了解前恋人对分手的看法。
"I think that a lot of what I recorded were people who were doing the stalking themselves, in ways that they would not be noticed. If they knew that someone could tell that they were doing that kind of stalking, they'd be very uncomfortable ... People talked a lot about constantly getting information and doing a lot of monitoring in the aftermath."
”我认为在这些人里，有许多人干着跟踪的勾当，只是他们自己没有发现而已。如果有人告诉他们说，你们在搞跟踪，相信他们自己也会觉得不舒服。他们谈了太多分手之后对信息的捕捉和追踪。”
Gershon also talked to people about decisions they had to make after a breakup, such as what to do with online traces of the relationship -- pictures of the couple and their wall posts on Facebook, the cell phone number and special ringtones.
Gershon也询问了人们在分手后会作出的决定，比如贴在网上的恋爱过程，还有他们的情侣照、Facebook上的留言、手机号码和特殊的来电铃声，他们将如何处理。
"People used to have to make similar decisions -- do you burn the letters or not? But now they are making decisions about traces that they might encounter on a daily basis whenever they contact other people, not just the ones they can stick in a box somewhere and decide about later," she said.
“以前的人们会作出类似的决定——你曾经也烧掉过情书吧？然而现在他们面对的是每天都会被人看到的痕迹，而不是那些残留在某个盒子里，可以择日再做打算的事物。”她说。
She dedicated a chapter to what it means to speak in public today and sees differences developing in the way these new technologies are seen and accessed.
她用了一章的篇幅来阐述现今在公开场所发布信息的意义，还有随着对新技术的看法和利用的改变，对结果带来的不同之处。
Since beginning her research, which also appeared earlier in Anthropology Today, Gershon has been asked whether her work provides conclusions about whether using social media and other new forms of communication is healthy for relationships.
从她开始着手此项研究之后，她曾被问到新型社交方式和其他沟通方式对于关系的该变是否是有益的。
"What they're looking for are rules and my research did not produce rules," she said. "There's only one rule that I really feel comfortable with after all of my interviews, which is don't share passwords. If you're sharing passwords, change them the minute you think a breakup is about to happen. I know that now."
“他们在寻找的是规则，我的研究不会产生规则，”她说，“在经过这么多采访后唯一一个让我感觉舒服的规则就是不要共享你们的密码。如果你已经共享了密码，那么在你感觉到即将要分手时，马上改掉那个密码。我现在算是明白了。”
参考文献编辑本段回目录
http://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2010-07/iu-b2072110.php
